TDI: 3 What's this?
Bioko Island – This country is weird!
Guinea Ecuatorial is one of the 10 least visited countries in the world… Exciting! Half of the population lives on the island, and the other half on the mainland, between Cameroon and Gabon. I have decided to visit the island. Can’t go wrong with the tropical islands! I am at the Lagos airport in Nigeria. While waiting for my flight to Malabo, the capital, I was browsing online for some basic info about the country. I was also trying to find out why this country is among the 10 least-visited.
“One of the most corrupt countries in the world,” says one of the websites. “Most of the people live below the poverty line,” says another one… It seems like a reasonable explanation of why nobody comes to that country, but then again, I can find exactly the same info for 70% of African countries and 50% of countries worldwide. Americans and Europeans just don’t get it… In any country that has a lower standard of living than ours, we declare them poor. It would be more accurate to declare ourselves as “rich” rather than them as poor. Then we would feel more grateful for our standard of living.
I was also looking for the population info: 84,000… Really? That’s all? Then, elsewhere, I found the same number, but next to it, it says “data from 1968″… What is going on with this country? My curiosity kept growing. An interesting fact is that this is the only Spanish-speaking country in Africa. Then I started looking for the latest news to see if there were any riots, civil war, or any type of terror currently underway. Nothing really. I couldn’t find the news that would prevent me from visiting this mysterious country.
So I landed. I took a ride from the airport to the guesthouse. Surprise: the roads were great, and most of the buildings looked new… coming from Nigeria (and before that Niger, and before that Benin), my first impression was I had arrived in one of the richest countries in Africa.
Then I tried to estimate the city’s population… It’s gotta be around half a million. The next thing I have noticed is the prices. It looks like accommodation, food, and transport are at least twice as expensive as they were in the countries I visited before my arrival here. That is usually, but not necessarily, a sign of a higher standard of living.
I’ve quickly learned that Guinea Ecuatorial is full of immigrants from West Africa: Nigeria, Ghana, Côte d’Ivoire, Burkina Faso, Cameroon… After spending 10 days on the island, I got the impression that half of the population is immigrants. And usually, people immigrate to another country with a higher standard of living so they can make more money than they would back home.
To summarize: good infrastructure, good cars, higher prices, and a large immigrant population suggest this is not one of the poorest countries in the world… not even close! Seriously, Google?! Get on top of the geography!
I’m in trouble!
Let’s change the subject and talk about nature, shall we? The island seemed very jungle-like at a glance. Excited to explore the hikes, as well as the shoreline. One of the things I have noticed on the map is Pico Bastile National Park. It’s supposed to be the highest point on the island. Gotta check it out, I thought
So I got on a local bus that goes in that direction. I got off at the junction, where the hill road towards the peak begins. At the beginning of the road, there was a ramp across it, and a rusty police shack next to it. I walked over. The shack was abandoned. The hill road looked quiet, with nobody on it. I was looking for some sort of sign like “No trespassing” or “Access prohibited”. Maybe the ramp was for cars only, but I could still walk up? There’s only one way to find out:)
There were a few houses nearby. I didn’t want the neighbors to hustle me, illegally charge for the entrance, and bother me with the idea that I needed a guide, etc.
So I started walking up the hill road, which was also very well paved. I was wondering if it will eventually turn into a dirt road. While hiking, I’ve still been wondering if I was allowed to hike there. It was too quiet… And mysterious… Why this well-paved road in the middle of the jungle?
The tropical rainforest was absolutely magnificent… a pure natural botanical garden! I started to feel good… relaxed… excited about what was higher and what the view was like. I also felt proud that I managed to enter the National Park without paying or being hustled.
After about 20 minutes of hiking, I saw a car coming down towards me. First encounter with a human since I passed the ramp. The driver stopped next to me and asked me what I was doing there. I responded I’m hiking to the peak. Then he told me the peak is 20 km up the road. I asked if it was paved all the way to the top. He said “Yes”. He added he could come back in 15 min and give me a ride up for $20. I politely refused, of course. I told him I’ll keep going up for another 30 min, then head back and call it a day. So he drove off, and I continued hiking up.
I just didn’t feel like walking 20 km on the paved road, but it would definitely be pleasant for a while. On the road, there were no viewpoints, no benches, and no signs of civilization, other than the paved road. The views of the island were very limited, covered by the tall trees. So the only things I could admire were the beautiful jungle on both sides of the road. I’ve been wondering for whom the road was well paved.
There’s nobody here! I decided to turn around and started walking back. There’s another car driving towards me. He stopped next to me. It was the same guy. He told me, “Get in the car, the boss wants to talk to you.” Whatta!?
So I did. What boss? Did I do something wrong? There was no sign that I was not allowed to go up. Just the ramp for the cars. And plenty of space for anyone to walk by it. I noticed the guy was very serious. Less friendly this time around. Not a good sign. I have decided to break the tension by saying: “This is a very beautiful island! I love the jungles… It’s like a botanical garden here!”
He made a tiny grin before his face went back to serious. I was nervous. Once we got back to the junction, he parked the car on the grass in front of the houses next to the ramp. Is that really a National Park? Or just another piece of misinformation about this country. Come on, Google! What are you doing to me?
I got out of the car. A man in civil clothes approached me. Short, skinny, in his thirties. His face was very serious. He told me in a very sharp and clear voice: “Your identification, please!”
I have never heard anybody speak so clearly and loudly. His voice was indeed scary. His eyes were even scarier. So sharp. He looked at me straight into my eyes like I was some sort of evil person who hurt his family or something. But I get it… that is his way of defending his authority. Back in the car, I felt tension. Now I feel fear 🙁 So he looked at my passport, checked nationality, expiration, visa… the usual stuff. Then he looked at me and asked: “What have you been doing up there?”
“Well, I was hiking in order to reach the National Park. There was nobody at the gate, no ‘Prohibited access’ sign, so I thought it was OK for me to walk up.”
“National Park?” He looked at me, surprised. And even angrier. I pulled up a Google map and pointed out to him where it says “Pico Basile National Park.”
He looked at my phone, then looked at me: “This is not a National Park. Public access to this road is strictly prohibited!
Seems like I wasn’t able to win the case with my story backed by Google Maps evidence. Not even close. He sounded and looked at me with even more anger. Next, he started examining my backpack. I proudly showed him my water supplies, an avocado, a raincoat, mosquito repellent, and all the accessories that should have convinced him I was an innocent tourist who just wanted to go to the National Park. That’s what tourists do, right?
“Sit here”, he pointed to a plastic chair next to us and dialed a number on his phone. After the brief phone conversation, he told me, “Wait here for 5 minutes, then we’ll go in my car”. Then he walked away with my passport.
Until this moment, I believed he was a dude who lived in one of those houses by the ramp and hustled tourists to squeeze some money. But he never asked me for the money. Is he the police? Normally, the police in this part of the world would ask me for money as well. Instead, he wanted to take me somewhere. Huh. He doesn’t wanna squeeze $20 or something from me…He probably wanna threaten me & take everything I got! Maybe kidnap me?
Back then, while I was traveling in West Africa and some of the countries in Central Africa, there were terrorist organizations called Jihadists operating in northern Nigeria, Niger, and Chad. Kidna ping was one of the tools they’ve been using. However, this country seemed a bit far away from their “playground”, I thought… or not? I was definitely freaking out.
So, I sat nervously and observed the area by the road. I was surrounded by 4 houses and a small bar. There were a few more houses across the road in the distance. Some kids were playing, women were drying laundry, a few people were sitting on the bar’s patio… A very regular, local vibe. Where do they wanna take me? …and why?
Then the 1st guy, who drove me back, passed by. He gave me a smile… I was trying to read every single sign carefully to be smart about this situation. It looked like a smile of compassion…. A smile that says: “You are not a bad person, yet, you are in big trouble, my friend, sorry!” I walked over to him and explained how this guy wants to take me somewhere, and all I did was hike in the National Park. I showed him the map. He looked at my phone. Then looked back at me, lifted his shoulders, and said, “I dunno”, and walked away.
The scary guy came back and said, “Follow me.” I followed him towards his car. He opened the door for me to get in. While standing by the car, I asked him: “And may I see your identification, please?” He was dressed in civil clothes, and the car was civil as well, so I thought it was a very appropriate question.
He calmly reached into his car and handed me the card. It was a very cheap, simple, funny-looking card. There was his picture on it, his name, a flag, and a title on top: ‘Ministry of Defense of the Republic of Guinea Ecuatorial’.
I was debating if the card was fake, cause it looked very cheap and very simple. Or it might be real, it’s just it looks so cheap cause this is Africa. If that was the legit military card, it probably needed more info, more stuff printed on it, than this one. Well, whether the card was original or not, whether he was a military or not, I did not feel comfortable getting into this car. No way!
So this is what I told him: “Look, you have my passport. So you keep it. I will go back to my guesthouse, go to the embassy tomorrow morning, ’cause I don’t understand what is going on here.” The good thing was that I was at least able to communicate in Spanish. Otherwise, I would freak out even more.
“Did I hit you?” he asked angrily. “Did I take any money from you?” After I responded “No” to both of those questions, he said, “So why do you wanna go to the embassy then? I need to bring you to my boss. Get in the car!”
During this last dialog, he was even angrier and looked at me even more sharply. His voice was louder as well. I thought I did a great job looking and playing cool, even though I was freaking out. I felt I was relatively safe around there, in the vicinity of the women and children playing and the bar. With this guy in his car on the way to his boss? That scenario did not feel safe to me at all:(
“Well, I am not getting into this car. You can call the police if you want!” I sounded relaxed and confident, like I got things under control.
My very angry friend became even angrier: “I am the police!”, he barked.
His ID said ‘Ministry of Defense,’ which means the military. But he says he’s the police… The ID is fake… Fuck… I’m dead!
I tried to look cool. I told him calmly, “The real police, with the police car.”
“Fine! You sit here and wait,” he pointed at the bar. “I’ll be back.”
Huh, got out of trouble, at least for a little bit. The trouble is definitely not over. So I walked to the bar. I asked the waitress if I could get a beer. She greeted me with a big smile and told me my choices. Any sign of friendliness felt like a slight relief. Then I said:
“You know what, I actually need to go. Can I get a taxi here?”
She said, “Yes, hold on.” Then a man behind me stood up and told her very loudly, so everyone in the bar could hear him:
“No, he is not going anywhere! He needs to sit and wait for…” I did not understand, since he spoke too fast.
Damn! That would have been too easy, escape from being kidnapped… So I ordered a beer and sat on one of the plastic tables. The man sat at the table next to me. He was quite big. With his sunglasses and a serious face, he looked pretty intimidating. I could knock down the short guy who had my passport, but then I would have to deal with this guy and at least a few others. I’ve been considering all possible options and outcomes.
Then a police SUV pulled up and parked in the same spot. A very old police car. Looked more like an abandoned car. The same angry guy got out of it. What is going on now? Does he have a friend who is a policeman who let him use his car? Is this a real police car? It looked too funny to be one. Or maybe it was, it’s just… You know… This is Africa! If I saw a regular policeman walking out of this car, I would be convinced it’s a police car, but this dude again?
Anyway, he was walking firmly towards me. I switched again into a relaxed, confident mode. He pointed at the police car and said, “Let’s go!”
I shook my head with a grin: “Don’t know what this car is, but I am not getting into it. I want the real police to take me.”
The idea of being taken by the police felt very safe right now. He was not happy. He started yelling at me: “My obligation is to bring you to my boss!” The angry man yelled a bunch of other stuff that I didn’t understand. I am not fluent in Spanish. In life-threatening situations, definitely less fluent.
Again, he was angry and loud, while I played it cool and smiled. “I am not getting into this car. Either I go home, then embassy, or, if I did commit a crime, the real national police can take me to prison.”
His eyes were exploding with anger. He said, “Wait here!” and drove off in the “police car”. Huh, I need another beer, I thought.
Generally, the vibe at the bar was quite positive. There were 2 women and an elderly man on a table behind me, drinking and enjoying themselves. One of the girls started asking me the usual ‘white man in a random African country’ questions: “Where are you from? What are you doing here?” Then she proceeded with more questions, I tend to get a lot from African girls: “Do you have a wife? Do you like black girls? How long are you staying on the island? “
She was sexy, I thought. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a nice opportunity for me to have some fun. But I was about to get kidnapped… so I wasn’t really capable of responding to her flirting. She was just distracting me from thinking clearly about this situation and possible outcomes.
After the girl asked me another friendly question, I came over, sat at their table, and spoke, showing my real face. The face I have been hiding from the moment I got dropped off here: “Look, this guy wants to take me to his boss. I dunno what they wanna do to me. He has a military ID and a police car. I don’t trust him. I am scared… scared for my life! All I did was hike in the National Park. I would rather go to prison than to his car!”
Three of them looked at me seriously, with compassion. The flirty girl put her arm over mine and said gently, “Don’t worry. If he wants to take you, I’ll go with you!” OK, now I’ve got 3 people on my side. The chances of surviving are a little bit better!
A few minutes later, the same police car came back. The same guy walked out in some sort of uniform from the hut. The uniform matched the hut, but it did not match his body. The uniform was a little baggy for him, and the hat was definitely too big, twisting his ears. He looked funny in it. The uniform definitely did not look like it was his. And the uniform’s design looked funny as well… Too funny to be a police uniform. Or maybe it was a police uniform, it’s just, “This is Africa”… He pointed at his attire and said, “You happy now? Get in the car, now!”
I had the same response and expression as the last time: “That’s not the police uniform… the real police! Call me the real police with the real car so they can take me to the real prison!” At this point, I was really hoping to get to prison. No joke. His eyes almost exploded from anger. He started yelling… I couldn’t understand anything. I looked at the girl who was flirting with me for her support. She just told me: “It’s OK, go with him…” Fuck! I am done… nobody’s gonna save me! She was on his side the whole time!
“I am not going!” At this point, I couldn’t look or sound cool anymore. The angry guy put his hand on my elbow while his buddy stood up and started walking over. Then the girl stood up. Not the one that was flirting with me. The other one was silent all the time. Now she started shouting at them. Weird! OK, so there is somebody on my side! All I managed to understand was that she told him I am scared. While they were arguing, I worked my way out of the bar terrace and walked towards 2 guys who were sitting on the porch of the house next door. I urgently spoke to them:
“Please, help me! I don’t know what they wanna do to me. I just went for a hike to the National Park…”
One of them interrupted me: “We don’t know anything. This is between you and him.”
Then the second guy said, “Talk to this man!” and pointed to somebody behind me.
I looked around and noticed a middle-aged man in a tracksuit walking towards the bar. I rushed towards him to talk to him before anybody else could, and said, with fear and panic in my eyes: “Excuse me, sir…”
He looked at me very calmly, handed me the passport, and said: “You can go.”
I exhaled like I had been holding my breath for 2 hours. I took my passport, grabbed his arm with both arms, looked at him like he was Jesus Christ, and said: “Thank You!” Yes, I am alive!!!
Then the flirty girl came over, hugged me, and said, “It’s all over. You can relax now.”
But instead of relaxing, I started shaking. All this time, I have been hiding my fear and panic in my pocket, in order to look cool and think sharp. So now, when it’s over, the feelings came out. I have experienced shock. I felt less sane now, when it was over, than during the drama. She has probably noticed that, so she said: “Why don’t you sit here and I’ll buy you another beer? I’ll get ready, and then we can go back to the city together in the taxi.” Another beer did sound like a great idea to me.
While I was sipping it, I noticed that the guy who had been scaring me the whole time, in his funny uniform, was sitting at the table behind me with my savior, my Jesus Christ. The Devil and Jesus are sitting on the same table, chilling. What is going on here? Who is the Devil? Who is Jesus? I felt like I had no more energy to think and get the answers to those questions. Maybe I should get outta here ASAP… At one point, the Devil walked away from the table, so I quickly went over to ask Jesus a question… I wanted to avoid the Devil since I still felt very traumatized.
“Can I get a taxi here and go to town?” He looked at me very calmly and kindly: “Yes, you can do whatever you want. I am the commissioner in this area.” I thanked him again and went back to my table.
What if the girl is in a deal with them? Maybe the danger is not over… Maybe I’m still in trouble! Perhaps I was so prepared for the worst that I just couldn’t believe it was over, and I could go back safely. Go back with a sexy girl instead. I didn’t even buy her a drink. It can’t be… Maybe that’s why she bought me a beer… It’s a trap!
As soon as the girl came back. I told her, “Listen, I am shocked and traumatized. I would feel more comfortable going back by myself.”
She did not look surprised. She didn’t try to reassure me that we should go together. She just called a taxi for me.
So I took off by myself! Again, I felt relief… at least for a few minutes. Then I started panicking again… What if the taxi driver was in on the deal with them? The girl has been all over me, and when I said I wanna go by myself, she instantly let me, without a single word. So I just sat in the back seat nervously, waiting to be dropped off. 10 minutes later, we were back in the city… 5 more minutes and I’ll get out of this car, and then it will finally be over!
I was monitoring his route on the phone app. Wanted to make sure he was driving in the direction of my guesthouse and not in the direction of a warehouse where they take tourists and kidnap them. I intentionally didn’t tell him the name of my guesthouse. Just the supermarket, a block away.
“I’ll exit here”, I said once we reached the supermarket. I walked out and rushed inside. Yes, I’m in! It’s all over!
I slept pretty well that night. The next morning, I still wasn’t sure what exactly had happened. What would happen to me if I sat in that car? What is the relationship between the Devil and Jesus? How about the relationship between the sexy girl and them? Throughout the day, things have started brightening in my head. By the early evening, I had a clear idea of what had happened. It seemed so simple:
First of all, the National Park is a protected area that is not open to sightseeing or tourism. Apparently, Guinea Ecuatorial doesn’t care about tourism. Somewhere up the road is a military base or some sort of government facility. The devil is in charge; nobody goes up. Since nobody ever does, he is not spending his days sitting in the police shack by the ramp.
He doesn’t have experience catching people going up, so he didn’t have a standard procedure for what. He wanted to take me to his boss, Jesus, so I could explain to him what I did up there. When Jesus found out I didn’t want to go to his office, he decided to cut the drama, came over here, and gave me the passport back. That is what happened. The flirty girl was just a flirty girl. The taxi was just a taxi.
Damn, I am such an idiot! How did I create all this drama in my mind? And I missed getting laid. Ugh!
I got the final confirmation of my theory the following day when I spotted a security guy in the city in the exact same uniform the Devil had… I’m an idiot! Or maybe I am not. Maybe it’s good to be very cautious and always be prepared for the worst. Although the drama in my head was inspired by the news of a kidnapping by Jihadist terrorists.
Interested in more stories from unknown African countries? I would recommend checking out my Togo post.
His life story is for a Hollywood movie
I really enjoyed my stay at the guesthouse because I made friends with three people who worked there. They welcomed me and made me feel at home. Normally, that is likely to happen in the local guesthouses of random, non-touristy countries, like this one. That’s where the locals normally don’t see many Westerners, so they tend to be more friendly with them.
They would invite me to come over, behind the front desk, and chill with them any time. We would drink coffee there, eat, watch football on TV, and talk about everything. So, during my stay, I would spend some time each day chilling at the front desk. I loved it! One of the employees had an interesting story. He was an immigrant from Ghana. Before he got to Guinea Ecuatorial, he was in Libya. The fact that he was a Muslim helped him to get into the country and find a job. Yet, his journey to get there wasn’t easy at all.
He was traveling with 20 or so relatives and some other Ghanaian Muslims. They had to cross the large area of Western Sahara (territory of Niger and South Libya) where Jihadists (terrorist organizations from Western Sahara) kept the law in their hands. I have mentioned them in the chapter above.
Usually, they rob, kidnap, rape, etc. The governments aren’t really worried about them as long as they don’t come to the cities, closer to them. The crimes committed in the remote, isolated parts of the country are not worth the attention of the governments of Mali, Niger, and Chad.
He knew it was a risky journey, but he felt he didn’t have much to lose. At one section of the journey, there was no transport available. They had to walk through the desert for 200 km… And yes, they did come across the Jihadists! It went pretty well, actually. They took most of their money and belongings. Nobody hurt, nobody injured. Since they didn’t have much anyway, they felt lucky.
Eventually, they made it all the way north to Tripoli. Success! That was the year 2010, while Gaddafi was still in power. My host got the job and got settled. He was happy… at least for a while… until the protests and the civil war, also known as The Arab Spring, started. So he gave me his insights into what happened.
“Everything was fine during the Gaddafi regime. Everything was organized, peaceful… Jobs, education… but Westerners did not like him, so they started the Western propaganda, which caused the revolution… You know. They needed to take the ‘evil dictator’ down and bring the ‘democracy’… The usual story. But what they call democracy, we call civil war.” His story was totally different than the one in the media, of course.
So he ended up losing his job. Saw more violence than ever before. Regretted he came here in the first place. He was exploring the opportunity to get to Europe somehow. There was a deal for hungry, desperate guys like him: An illegal boat service that dropped people off in Malta. That service was expensive, and there was no guarantee the mission would be successful.
So he gave up on that option and went back south. Then he ended up in Guinea Ecuatorial. He makes $268/month at the guesthouse, plus free accommodation (he sleeps on the floor behind the front desk). I never asked him how much he’s been making. He just told me that.
One more interesting thing he mentioned about Libya was the racism he had experienced there. He was called the “slave” on a daily basis. Sometimes he would sit on the bus, and the local Libyans would yell at him from behind: “Hey, you can not sit here. You are a slave. Go sit behind us!”
He wasn’t too offended by it. He said he forgives them, and he prays for them because he is a Muslim and that’s what the Quran taught him. I need to mention that he was one of the nicest and kindest people I have ever met.
Guinea Ecuatorial is seriously weird
Today, my plan was to go to the beach, just outside of the city. I was joined by one of my buddies who worked at the hotel. As soon as our taxi got out of the city, we reached a checkpoint on the road. Damn.. I don’t have my passport. I didn’t bring it since I was going to the beach. After knowing this country for 3 days, I was assuming it could be complicated.
Interested in hidden exotic beaches, like this one above? Wait till you see my photo gallery from Sao Tome
And it was. The cop asked us for identification. He looked at us very sharply, as if we were some evil people who made his life miserable. I guessed his uniform and a gun weren’t enough for him to feel confident, so he needed to look scary and angry on top of that. Because of my previous experience, his anger did not distract me this time around.
So after I told him I didn’t have my passport on me, he got even more upset. Why all this negative energy? I am in trouble, not him. My buddy has tried to ask him to let us go. To me, it seemed obvious we won’t be able to get away. So I came up with a different plan: “We’re gonna go back to the guesthouse, I’ll grab my passport, then we’ll come back here.”
The policeman got even angrier. It seems like he was looking for an excuse to be filled with negative energy. My buddy was a little nervous. After the drama from 2 days ago, I felt perfectly relaxed and comfortable. Just another day in Guinea Ecuatorial.
Anyway, the cop did not like my plan. He demanded that I stay here at the checkpoint with him, and my friend would go back and bring my passport. Easy, I thought. I explained to my buddy where my passport was in my room. The only thing was, I did not feel like sitting at the checkpoint next to the guy who was so full of negative energy.
After 10 minutes of sitting next to him, I decided to challenge myself to make him friendlier. Put some sun into his soul. It was about his uniform job and the insecurity of his authority. I was telling him how I liked my guesthouse, and I got friendly with the staff. They were my friends during my stay.
Then I went on about how beautiful the tropical rainforest here is, and I am very excited about visiting the beach. He started to get softer. Then I spoke with a lot of passion about the African woman… how sexy they are and how I love the dancing spirit and the music of this continent… The guy continued losing his negative energy. He became almost normal, almost in his off-duty mood… I even managed to get a compliment from him. He told me he liked my mentality. Then, the taxi came back. So did his anger.
After browsing through my passport, he asked me for a Tourist Visit Authorization. I told him that a tourist visa for me was not required.
“Correct. But you need a Tourist Visit Authorization to leave the city, visit the beaches, and go hiking. I am gonna let you go now, but when you come back to town, make sure you get it, ’cause on every city exit, there is a checkpoint and you will be asked for that document.”
“Ok, thank you! And do you know where I get that Authorization?”
“From the Minister of Tourism.”
Seriously??? I needed a document from the Minister of Tourism of Guinea Ecuatorial in order to go to the beach. Damn… I wish I had to pay for a tourist visa instead. Anyway, now the cop had let us go to the beach, even if I didn’t have that form… Yay! I guess friendly chatting was useful after all.
The next morning, I went to the government building, where the Ministry of Tourism’s office was supposed to be. The process was easy (Thank God!). I just filled out a short application, paid $30, and had to come back in 2 days. So I did. I never had a chance to meet the Minister, but I do possess his original signature on the form:)
If you liked this story from Guinea Ecuatorial, I recommend checking out my post on South Africa.
To learn more about this unknown country, I have attached this fun educational YouTube video